5. Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Trying to follow the death of Ripley in Alien 3,  this genetically modified sequel is a monument to hubris.  A truly visionary director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, (The City of Lost Children, Delicatessen), and a script by aJoss Whedon (!) hot off Buffy The Vampire Slayer couldn’t save this cavalcade of bad ideas. 

The initial concept of a cloned Ripley, who is part Alien, is potentially intriguing but it’s bogged down by the relentless “brownness” of everything, the ridiculousness of spaceship doors that open by breathing on them, and production designers who think they can one-up H.R. Giger’s original Alien design by putting backwards chicken legs on them and coming up with the absolute monstrosity that is the half human, half Alien, “Newborn”.

The newborn is not in any way terrifying, it’s just an awful, awful design.  Seriously look at this thing:


Throw in Brad Dourif doing his usual bug-eyed thing and Weaver making out with a hive of Aliens and even Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman can’t save this disaster.

I’m actually getting ANGRY just thinking about the newborn now.

On to the better films.