4. Prometheus (2012)

Narrowly beating out Alien: Resurrection Ridley Scott’s first return to the universe he created (© Scott Free productions 2017), Prometheus was beautiful to look at but staffed almost exclusively by morons.

Quite possibly the worst spaceship crew in the galaxy goes searching for the source of life and blunders their way from one crisis to another while investigating the alien Engineers and their black goo. Apparently footage left on the cutting room for the sake of pacing explained why a biologist wouldn’t show any fear of a clearly annoyed alien snake thing, or how the geologist with 3D mapping technology managed to get lost in the vast engineer base, but nothing can explain why one of the scientists takes off his space helmet at the first opportunity with no fear of Alien germs and then becomes deeply depressed after confirming that intelligent life exists in the universe, but isn’t around right now to have a chat!

For a prequel to the Alien series, the  film also created more mysteries than it answered. More deleted scenes that showed the geologist Fifield mutating into a Xenomorph-like creature, instead of the weird space zombie we got in the final cut, might have strengthened the links to the other Alien movies but for some reason, Scott and Fox decided to distance Prometheus from the Alien franchise. Which raises another question: why bother at all?

Hopefully, the filmmakers have learned from the Prometheus backlash and have a more coherent storyline and plot in mind for Alien: Covenant.

Movie lover, project manager, coder. co-host of the McYapndFries movie podcast. Irish lost in Malaysia. Can be found on twitter @McNastyPrime (and yes, that IS the Iron Throne)