SHARE

4. Prometheus (2012)

Narrowly beating out Alien: Resurrection Ridley Scott’s first return to the universe he created (© Scott Free productions 2017), Prometheus was beautiful to look at but staffed almost exclusively by morons.

Quite possibly the worst spaceship crew in the galaxy goes searching for the source of life and blunders their way from one crisis to another while investigating the alien Engineers and their black goo. Apparently footage left on the cutting room for the sake of pacing explained why a biologist wouldn’t show any fear of a clearly annoyed alien snake thing, or how the geologist with 3D mapping technology managed to get lost in the vast engineer base, but nothing can explain why one of the scientists takes off his space helmet at the first opportunity with no fear of Alien germs and then becomes deeply depressed after confirming that intelligent life exists in the universe, but isn’t around right now to have a chat!

For a prequel to the Alien series, the  film also created more mysteries than it answered. More deleted scenes that showed the geologist Fifield mutating into a Xenomorph-like creature, instead of the weird space zombie we got in the final cut, might have strengthened the links to the other Alien movies but for some reason, Scott and Fox decided to distance Prometheus from the Alien franchise. Which raises another question: why bother at all?

Hopefully, the filmmakers have learned from the Prometheus backlash and have a more coherent storyline and plot in mind for Alien: Covenant.

You might like:  Watch what happens if Stormtroopers were from Malaysia
  • John Pirruccello

    Wow, Aliens above Alien and Alien 3 above Prometheus? Definitely going to take your Alien Covenant Review significantly less seriously now.

  • Joe Pearson

    Can’t agree with this line-up mate. ‘Gotta go with Alien 1, then 2, then 4, the Alien vs. Pred. 1, the Prometheus, Alien 3 (I fucking hated the way they killed Ripley off at the end), and finally Alien vs. Pred. 2. Wish I could get shit-faced in person arguing with you and the Gav about this one.