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This article contains MEGA SPOILERS from the first episode of Game of Thrones Season 7

 Today’s premiere episode opened with Walder Frey delivering a speech to his people. Yeap, he’s very much alive and 3 seasons later, still gloating about the Red Wedding – which is the most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. “Yo motherfs! We destroyed the Starks! Let’s celebrate with wine finer than God’s piss.” My immediate thought was, this is a flashback. After all, Walder Frey is dead. WAIT, Walder Frey was killed by Arya Stark. Which means….

Sure enough, there was something about Walder Frey’s tone that felt off. Arrogant celebration turned to sarcastic taunts. “You didn’t slaughter every one of the Starks. No no, that was your mistake.” And one by one, the Freys dropped dead. And then Arya rips off the mask and shows her face. This isn’t a flashback. It’s Arya Stark single-handedly wiping out the entire House Frey  “Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe.” Three words describe that glorious opening scene:

HOLY SH*T BALLS

There is just something about Game of Thrones that is absent from other shows, even great ones like Breaking Bad and Sopranos. A special, unreplicable kind of chill runs down my spine when I watch this show. Arya Stark, played by Maisie Williams is one of my favourite characters on Game of Thrones. Watching her journey, from a little girl who just wanted to kick ass to a little girl who kicks so much ass it would put a lot of men to shame, has been an awesome one.  It was a fulfilling moment to see Arya feed Walder Frey his children (baked in a pie), before killing his a*s. Witnessing her single-handedly destroying the rest of the Freys is delicious icing on the cake. #thenorthremembers

In another scene, Arya has a drink with Ed Sheeran then starts singing the chorus of “Shape of You” stating her desire to kill the queen. Good stuff.

Then we head over to Winterfell where Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) is talking to all the VIPs of the North. A few interesting things happen simultaneously during this scene. One, Jon says that he needs everyone aged 10-60 to start prepping for the impending war against the White Walkers. EVERYONE, including the girls. Of course, there are murmurs of disagreement in the crowd. That is until young Lyanna Mormont (Bella Ramsey) stood up and delivered a speech so badass, it turned Donald Trump into a feminist.

I may be small and I may be a girl, but I am every bit of Northern as you … I won’t be knitting by the fire while men fight for me.

When we met Lyanna Mormont last season, many of us felt that a star was born. This young, 13-year-old actress could stand toe to toe with the likes of Kit Harrington. I had hoped that she would get a meatier role in Season 7 and it seems like they’re heading in that direction. Watching Lyanna Mormont and Arya Stark stand side by side taking down White Walkers would be the coolest sequence in the history of television.

Two, it’s merely the first episode of the season but Sansa and Jon are already showing signs of a discrepancy. Sansa believes that the remaining Karstarks and Umbers, including the women and children, should be exiled from their castles for betraying House Stark and fighting alongside Ramsay Bolton. Jon believes that children should not be punished for the sins of their fathers. On the surface, it seems that Jon is right and Sansa is wrong. But it isn’t as simple as that, and that’s a good thing. Jon is a noble man, taking after their dad, Ned Stark. And he knows what needs to be done to defeat the White Walkers. But as Sansa points out, as dangerous as the White Walkers are, they are not the only enemy. South of the wall, Cersei Lannister is out to seek revenge, destroy and conquer the entire Westeros. Sansa has gone through a lot, arguably even more than Jon Snow has, and Jon snow DIED. While Jon was busy fighting wildlings, Sansa was married off to two different villains, first to Joffrey and then to Ramsay. She knows how to play the Game of Thrones, something Jon Snow knows very little about. As Sansa says, “Dad and Robb made stupid mistakes that led to their deaths.” While Jon and Sansa bicker, (three) Littlefinger watches, a smug grin plastered on his face, waiting for the perfect opportunity to prey on the Stark siblings’ differences.

Some of the best lines of dialogue happen between Cersei and Jamie and then Cersei, Jamie, and Euron Greyjoy.

Cersei: I’m the queen of the Seven Kingdoms.
Jamie: Three kingdoms, at best.

The (disgusting) sexual tension between Jamie and Cersei is slowly fading away. Jamie clearly still loves Cersei, but Cersei is more obsessed with POWER. With every sentence she utters, there is a worried look on his face. He wants to mourn Tommen’s death, or at the very least, just talk about it for a bit. Cersei isn’t interested. She prefers to focus on her enemies and destroy them. Jamie tries to talk some sense into his sister to no avail. Is Cersei going to end up like the Mad King? The Mad King that Jamie had to kill to protect the realm. I believe it will eventually lead to death. As much as I’d like Arya to kill Cersei, I think Jamie will, and then kill himself after. It’s more poetic that way. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Euron Greyjoy sails to King’s Landing and tries to team up with Cersei. He’s also clearly horny, as he immediately proposes to Cersei. Cersei declines. Because she’s not stupid to trust someone she hardly knows, but probably also because she still has a thing for her brother’s dick. Euron then promises Cersei a gift. A gift so powerful, Cersei would immediately spread her legs for him. What that gift is, remains to be seen, but my guess is, it could be Gendry’s head on a pike. Remember when Cersei ordered her people to kill all the Baratheon babies as she didn’t want any of them to grow up and have a claim to the throne. But there is one remaining Baratheon walking around and that’s Gendry.

Is Cersei going to end up like the Mad King? The Mad King that Jamie had to kill to protect the realm. I believe it will eventually lead to that. As much as I’d like Arya to kill Cersei, I think Jamie will, and then kill himself after. It’s more poetic that way. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Euron Greyjoy sails to King’s Landing and tries to team up with Cersei. He’s also clearly horny, as he immediately proposes to Cersei. Cersei declines. Because she’s not stupid to trust someone she hardly knows, but probably also because she still has a thing for her brother’s dick. Euron then promises Cersei a gift. A gift so powerful, Cersei would immediately spread her legs for him. What that gift is, remains to be seen, but my guess is, it could be Gendry’s head on a pike. Remember when Cersei ordered her people to kill all the Baratheon babies as she didn’t want any of them to grow up and have a claim to the throne. But there is one remaining Baratheon walking around and that’s Gendry.

There are a couple of fun moments that involve Samwell Tarly as well as Sandor “The Hound” Clegane, but I’ll talk about that in brief at the end of the article.

I have to discuss the ending, though. While Game of Thrones churns out incredible action set pieces – Battle of the Bastards – and BIG MOMENTS (i.e Ned Stark’s death, The Red Wedding, Hold the Door), the smaller, quieter moments are equally incredible. The opening 10 minutes of the Season 6 finale didn’t have any dialogue, and it didn’t need any. Directed to perfection by Miguel Sapochnik and accompanied by Ramin Djwadi’s music, the opening of Winds of Winter will go down as some of the best moments in television history. The final moments of the Season 7 premiere, while not as perfect as the opening of Winds of Winter, is also brilliant. This time directed by Jeremy Podeswa, the closing moments are silent, with Daenerys finally reaching her birthplace of Dragonstone. We see her touching the sand by the sea, walking up to the castle and into the war room, where she finally says, “shall we begin?”

HELL YES! WE SHALL! #Winterishere

Other fun stuff:

  • There is an awesome montage featuring Sam and poop (yeap, you read that right).
  • Sandor Clegane sees the supposed future in the fire. He will probably slowly start believing in the Lord of Light.