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WARNING: Game of Thrones spoilers ahead!

A friend of mine asked me, what are some of the great episodes of Game of Thrones. An easy question. “Every single episode is GREAT,” I said. But apparently that’s cheating and I was told to narrow it down. Season 1 Episode 9 – Baelor – was the first to come to mind. To many of us, Ned Stark’s execution was the episode that screamed, “welcome to Game of Thrones motherfs!” Season 3 Episode 9 – The Rains of Castamere AKA The Red Wedding – is still the most traumatic incident I have ever witnessed. And of course, who can forget the last two episodes of Season 6 – Battle of the Bastards and Winds of Winter. I am yet to decide if this week’s episode, The Queen’s Justice belongs in the same category as those episodes, but it sure as hell is brilliant.

The Queen’s Justice is a dialogue ridden episode, but unlike the first two episodes of this season, it wasn’t all setup. To my surprise, THE meeting we’ve been waiting for, for many many years happened almost immediately. I thought we would be forced to wait at least another week for Dany and Jon to finally meet, tongues salivating in anticipation. Then I realised, we’re already halfway through the season *GASP!*

It all comes full circle

Tyrion and Missandei welcome Jon and Davos at the beach. Tyrion, with a tinge of sarcasm, says, “the bastard of Winterfell,” to which Jon replies, “the dwarf of Casterly Rock.” They tease each other back and forth, but they have this look plastered on their face that reads, “Damn! How did two losers like us come this far? I’m proud of you.”

They then talk about the past a little bit. Tyrion tells Jon that his marriage with Sansa was a sham and he didn’t have sex with her. This short exchange of dialogue is important because it reinforces the theme of today’s episode and also because it convinces me even more that Tyrion is a good man. One of the few good men in Westeros.

While Jon, Tyrion, and Missandei walk up to the castle, Varys and Melisandre have a chat. Melisandre actually says, “I brought ice and fire together,” confirming a long time fan theory that Game of Thrones, at its core, is a story about Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen. It’s either that or Melisandre is once again, wrong. For those of you who don’t know, George R. R. Martin’s books in which this series is based on, are titled A Song of Ice and Fire. While that was a cool line of dialogue, perhaps the most interesting — and there are a lot of interesting lines of dialogue in this episode — is when Melisandre tells Varys that she’s leaving, but she will “come back to die here. So will you.” Varys looks shaken. Mind you, this is the guy who looked calm and stood his ground even when he was interrogated by the Mother of Dragons. But not here. Here he had the look I had many years ago when my high school teacher confiscated my phone while I was trading low-quality Maria Ozawa porno with my friend via Bluetooth, and threatened to call my parents. Does Melisandre know how and when Varys will die? Is Varys slowly starting to buy into this magic mumbo jumbo?

And then it happens. The moment we’ve been waiting for.

JON SNOW MEETS DAENERYS TARGARYEN!!   

And it did not disappoint. It wasn’t bombastic in a conventional sense. There wasn’t bombastic music playing in the background, nor was it loud. It was as most scenes in this episode, dialogue heavy. The lines, written by the showrunners themselves, Benioff and Weiss, were note perfect and boy did Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke deliver one hell of a performance. This just might be Emilia Clarke’s best performance to date, on the big screen and small.

The scene starts with Missandei introducing Dany.

Dany then calls Jon Lord, instead of Grace. Davos is unhappy but Jon doesn’t give two sh*ts. He only has one thing in mind. Dany is cocky and asks Jon to bend the knee. History dictates that the Starks are supposed to serve the Targaryens. Jon doesn’t want to because he doesn’t even know her. Why should he bow down to someone he hardly knows? Dany talks about her dragons and the struggles she’s faced to reach the level she’s at today. Again, Jon doesn’t give a damn. He starts talking about the White Walkers. Of course, Dany thinks it’s all jibber jabber. Davos steps in and talks about Jon and the struggles he’s faced. He even almost blurts out that Jon was brought back from the dead. Almost.

What may seem like a fairly straightforward scene, actually contains powerful subtexts.

A couple of very important things to note:

  1. Jon Snow clearly does not care AT ALL about who’s king/queen of the Seven Kingdoms. He doesn’t care about who sits on the Iron Throne. He only cares about the White Walkers. To be fair, he never cared in the first place, which is why way back in Season 1 he was like, “Peace out b*tches. I’m going to chill out at Castle Black.”  The fact that he’s only focused on the White Walkers makes him the most woke yet most ignorant person in the series, right now. Sometimes, to fight the system, you need to play within the system first. In other words, listen to Tyrion.
  2. Dany is becoming cocky. I don’t think she’ll reach the point where she’s so consumed by power that she’ll turn into her father, but right now she is showing shades of it. She needs to tone down and look beyond what she knows. “You should never believe a thing just because you want to.” In other words, listen to Tyrion.

Tyrion knows people. And so far, he’s been doing an excellent job at bridging the gap between Jon and Dany. While both Jon and Dany are headstrong, Tyrion understands where both of them are coming from. One thing he tells Jon stands out in particular. “People’s mind aren’t made for problems (White Walkers) that large. There’s relief in confronting a more comfortable, familiar monster like my sister.” This like a lot of things in Game of Thrones is a reflection of reality. I’m not much of an environmentalist myself. And admittedly, while I do believe in climate change, I don’t do anything to help improve the situation either. We spend our time bickering over politics, because we can see the “monster” with our own eyes and directly feel the effects of their doing. Climate change is a bigger problem than Donald Trump, ISIS or Kim Jong Un. Climate change can destroy all of humanity in one swoop. Yet we spend most of our time screaming at Donald Trump on social media, campaigning to get him removed from the Oval Office but still argue with the cashiers at Supermarkets when they choose not to provide us with plastic bags on “NO PLASTIC BAG” day.

In another scene, Dany tells Jon, “We all enjoy doing what we’re good at.” To which Jon replies, “I don’t.” Again, this speaks volumes about who he is as a person. Jon is good at swordplay, but he isn’t bothered about that. He just wants to destroy the White Walkers and save humanity.

Pink lips Cersei.

Oh, I’ve hated this b*tch since Season 1. I mentioned how I’m sure Dany will not end up being like her father. But Cersei is most definitely going to be like the Mad King Aerys Targaryen. It isn’t just what she does, but also the way the speaks and behaves in general. Everytime she opens her mouth, I feel like kicking her in her face. In this week’s episode, she tortures Ellaria Sand by causing her daughter to die a slow, painful death right in front of her eyes. She also tells her guards to force food down her throat to make sure she’s alive, but change their torture methods every few hours, which one would assume would include butt rape, cause hey, it’s Game of Thrones. Lena Headey is definitely one of the better actors on the show, bringing her “A” game week in week out since the beginning. But without using words — because Cersei tied her mouth — Indira Varma gave us her best performance to date. She was exceptional, using her eyes to convey anger and sadness.

Also, Indira Varma has since come out and said that that would be her last appearance in Game of Thrones. While her character was underdeveloped for the most part, it’s good that she gave the performance of her life in this short scene. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was a tragic sight.

A lot of things happened in this episode and I could go on and on, but let’s get right to the main event first, because I cannot hold it in any longer. This episode has one of the best action sequences in Game of Thrones. Funny thing is, the action sequence didn’t actually have ACTION.

Dany and her people are in the war room as Tyrion explains how they’re going to take Casterly Rock from the Lannisters. He has devised the perfect strategy using a sewage he built in Casterly Rock when he was younger, to sneak in whores. We hear Tyrion’s voiceover as the scene plays out. “Cersei’s men fight out of fear. The Unsullied fight for something bigger. They fight for freedom!” Sure enough, the Unsullied defeat the Lannisters and take over Casterly Rock. But it’s too easy. Then we see Euron’s ships destroying the ships that the Unsullied sailed in, to Casterly Rock. The Unsullied are stuck at Casterly Rock. But where are the rest of the Lannister army?

WE CUT TO –

The Lannisters marching in unison, led by Jamie and Randall Tarly. They’re marching towards Highgarden. In the very next scene we see some Lannisters piling bodies of the Tyrells, while others are counting gold. The Lannisters have won. Masterful scriptwriting, masterful directing, masterful editing.

And then Jamie and Grandma Olenna Tyrell face off. Not in a battle of the swords (duh!), but in a battle of the minds. Jamie says he’s not going to torture Olenna — proving that he’s a changed man. He pours poison into Olenna’s cup. Olenna gulps it down, FAST. Not before calling Joffrey a cunt and Cersei a disease. Jamie isn’t happy, but deep down he knows the truth. You can see it in his eyes. This was hands down Nikolaj Coster-Waldau’s best performance, too. After gulping down the poison, right down to the very last sip, Olenna Tyrell says what many of us have been suspecting since Season 4. OLENNA TYRELL KILLED JOFFREY! “Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.”

WHAT. AN. EPISODE.

Other stuff that happened:

  1. Euron asks Jamie if Cersei likes a finger up a butthole.
  2. Cersei has sex with Jamie and doesn’t care if other people find out that she’s boning her brother. #Incestdontcare
  3. Sansa proves that she knows her sh*t as far as leadership goes.
  4. Bran and Sansa’s reunion gets weird. No one told me that being the Three Eyed Raven is code name for hardcore stoner, cause Bran looked stoned out of his mind. 
  5. Ser Jorah is fully cured.

Hey, you! Yes you, hot stuff. Do you think either Varys or Tyrion is leaking Dany’s secret to Cersei? Leave a comment below and let me know whatchu think.
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He spends half of his time convincing anyone who would listen to watch Star Wars, and the other half trying to figure out why people consider White Chicks and Ouija to be good films.